Tenga – Spiral


First up, a size comparison since I found the stock photos gave a false impression of proportion. The review will continue after the photos.

Amazon Product image – Tenga 3D Spiral
Size comparison between the Sword of Caesar toy heater, a metric ruler, and the Tenga Spiral in the display case.
A second size comparison. Keep in mind that the Zemalia Susie is on the larger side (Susie is about 1 inch smaller than a Fleshlight which is the largest handheld toy out there.)

First off, this product is tiny! It is like a 1/2 scale model of what I thought I’d be getting. It is a pocket pussy in that you can fit it in your pocket. It is literally just barely longer than the width of my hand. The geometric pattern feels a little unrealistic at first, but I found that it works just fine if I didn’t think about it.

I don’t want to be too hard on this product, it is much better than the no-name and sexflesh brand products out there. It also isn’t sticky like Fleshlights are and doesn’t need to be powdered with cornstarch after washing like some of the aforementioned products do. However, on the other hand the sensation doesn’t have that “wow” factor for me, it does the job, but no more. The truly exceptional characteristic of this is the stealth factor. Once you take the stickers off of the display case, nobody will be able to guess what it is. It is also very quiet when in use, so you won’t be waking your roommate. It is also very simple to use, I know this sounds funny, but if you have a look at my Fleshlight and Zemalia reviews they have managed to make the simple complicated!

Material: TPE – Remarks: Very stretchy, feels durable. It is a bit firmer than some of the soft toys out there but the material is very elastic and handles being inverted very well. It isn’t sticky at all, which is characteristic of high quality toys.
Sensation: 5 out of 10 hands, it isn’t realistic, takes awhile to get off, but it works, it’d be good for edging or travel since it looks rather inconspicuous.
External size: 120mm to 125mm long x 46mm diameter at maximum
Functional internal dimensions: 111mm deep
Opening (without stretching): 15mm
Quality: 10/10 remarks
Smell: No unpleasant odors
Cleaning: Extremely easy. I even feel comfortable unloading in this one since I know I can turn it inside out and throughly clean it.

One note on cleaning: When you are inverting it, anything on the inside, lube or otherwise is going to get sprayed out as the end pop out, so have it pointed down in to the sink and away from your toothbrush!

I would recommend this product for anyone who wants something they can display in their room or travel with and have nobody realize what it is. So if stealth is the most important attribute for you, then this would be an excellent and quality choice to go with.

You can get yours here

Zemalia Susie – Single ended Fleshlight alternative review

The actual Toy is much smaller than the ABS cup, it is still roughly the same size as most Onaholes, but more accommodating.

Oh man, this thing is crazy! It can be either great or terrible depending on how you use it. I think it should come with a user manual to explain how to use it correctly.

Out of the box this thing has crazy suction, there is a sticker at the rear for some degree of control over this but I ended up removing it and using my index finger since you need to open and close the vent frequently to get the best experience. Make sure you use it with tons of lube or you might hurt yourself! I would strongly recommend getting a quality toy heater with this as well for a more realistic experience.

How crazy was the suction you ask? So crazy that I had trouble removing my toy heater even though I used plenty of lube before inserting it! You could easily give your cock a hicky if you tired this without lube. Don’t do it!

When I first tried to use it with the sticker over the air vent at the rear, I was able to push it on but then could barely move it due to the extreme suction. At this point I removed the sticker and it was movable and the foam at the rear of the toy acted to limit how fast air could come in or out so that there was still quite a bit of suction. However, I got the best results when I covered the air vent with my finger while it was about 50% of the way on and then it acted like an air shock and I got a lot more sensation and it was very enjoyable and realistic.

Material: TPE – Remarks: Quality product, it isn’t sticky and is a medium/average hardness/softness
Sensation: 7 out of 10 hands
External size: 142mm long x 60 to 76mm diameter at maximum, narrows down to just 40mm diameter at end
Functional internal dimensions: 128mm deep + 35mm foam air resistor at rear of cup.
Opening (without stretching): 16.5mm x 11mm
Quality: 10/10 remarks
Smell: No unpleasant smells
Cleaning: Easy. Remove from the ABS cup and flush with water, dry it.
Bonus: It includes a slot for an integrated bullet vibrator although one is not included

If you like suction, this toy is definitely the one for you. It is a high quality product that will stand the test of time and not accumulate grime thanks to the non-sticky material and lid that are included. The plastic wrap label is also perforated down the side so your can remove it to make a plain white object. Although the ABS plastic is a different white than the lid. If stealth was really important you could paint the plastic so that it looks like a uniform solid object. Get creative and embrace your creative side!

Remarks on using it with the vibrator: TBD

I found the suction to be much more manageable than a Fleshlight and also much better than any of the single ended Onaholes I have reviewed. I would say this is the #1 in suction for sure. The internal path is a bit wider than Onaholes, so the sensation isn’t as strong, but this also means that it can be enjoyed by a larger audience. I think that the suction more than compensates for the small reduction in sensation. When used correctly the air pressure pushes the walls of the toy into contact with you, so you don’t need to be the size of a beer bottle to enjoy this.

The price to value is very good on this one since (at least in Canada) it costs $32.99 vs. the $50+ that I pay for Onaholes and it is very competitive with them.

Get yours here

(You won’t regret it!)

Fleshlight girls: Jessica Drake Fleshlight “Heavenly Texture”

Okay, let me get this out of the way up front: I didn’t love the Fleshlight. But I didn’t hate it either. Everyone that reviews Fleshlights gives them glOWing reviews and that is because they want commissions from you following their link to purchase one. I bought this one with my own cash, and having reviewed the other products on this site and more, I have opinions, and I am going to share them. Both good and bad.

A word about Fleshlights in general:

Fleshlights are not made of your typical material, a fact the company is happy to tell you all about how realistic it is. In actual fact it’s formulation reminds me of the sticky hands from the 90’s (see picture below). The material is extremely stretchy but also very, very sticky. For example in untreated format (as it comes out of the box), it will instantly adhere to a paper tissue. Thankfully, it comes with a package of renew powder (corn starch) although there are no ‘before-first-use’ instructions to tell you to apply it to the outside surface to make your first experience a bit easier.

Sticky Hands

The material is also saturated with some kind of oil (you might say it is impregnated with oil 😉 that is essential to its longevity. The cleaning instructions make it very clear that soaps or cleaning products that contain detergents will degrade the sleeve, as will non-water based lubricants. This oil will also escape if you ever put the sleeve down on any kind of paper product and you will be left with an oily stain, if you can separate the paper from the sleeve that is!

Size. Oh the size. Nothing will make you feel inadequate quite like a ten inch long male sex toy. That is 25.4cm for those reading this outside the US of A. I’m something around 6″ on a good day, and this is average unless you are of a darker complexion. Fleshlight being the wonderful and considerate people that they are have made all of their Fleshlights a size 99% of the population can enjoy, even if 80% of them are only enjoying the first 50%. But jokes aside, there are some issues with the size:

It is difficult to clean and it is clearly not a flashlight, so it is quite conspicuous. Lets talk about the cleaning.

Cleaning the Fleshlight: There are removable caps at either end of the plastic case, so you shouldn’t need to remove the toy from the sleeve to clean it, unless of course you want to use your bathroom sink! Can you believe that inconsiderate bathroom engineers, made most bathroom sinks only 8″ or fewer inches deep? Well, once again the size of the Fleshlight is impractical here. I used my bathtub faucet, not stealthy. Once you have the water-based lubricant washed out you are ready for cleaning stage 2! You must dry it, but you can’t use any disposable paper product to do it because it is also incredibly sticky once it is dry. So the only option is to have a dedicated cloth (I use dish cloths). Okay so now you have managed to clean the insides (all 10″ I hope!) and also the top. well now we need to keep it dry and keep the humidity inside the thing near zero (otherwise mould will grow). Enter the “renewing powder” that wasn’t on it when you bought it. Cleaning stage 3 consists of covering the Fleshlight, your room and yourself in corn starch. Another satisfied customer! Hope you brought a change of clothes and a dust pan. Protip: I have a sealed container where I place the sleeve and corn starch and then shake it up. It helps to contain the corn starch a bit, but the above problems are still encountered since the excess corn starch that sticks needs to be removed. Your suggestions welcome on how to do this better.

With that off my chest, my last issue with Fleshlight is the price. Their enormous marketing budget has driven them to success and it is funded by the inflated price. In my opinion I consider it worthy of perhaps $50 as a premium product, but clearly there is still demand at double that price.

So with all those words about what I didn’t like, did I hate it? No. I heated it up and used a lot of lubricant and I was satisfied with the results. The best feature about it was the adjustable suction. To adjust it you can open and close the back cap to let air in or out to obtain anything between vacuum cleaner suction to no suction at all with a little trial and error.

Sensation was much milder than many of the other toys I have reviewed. However, this isn’t a bad thing, the sensation was actually very realistic when compared to actual sex. So if you want to get to the big ‘O’ quickly, this might not be the toy for you. I’d recommend one of the Ona Holes made by EXE (which I have reviewed here) for that purpose. However, if you are worried about not lasting long enough during sex and want to practice lasting longer, or simply want to do some ‘edging’, this is a very enjoyable way to do it.

Detailed specifications:
Material: Fleshlight
Sensation: 5/10 hands for sensation.
External size: 254mm long x 95mm diameter
Functional internal dimensions: ~200mm deep
Opening (without stretching): 16mm x 8mm
Quality: 10/10
Smell: none
Cleaning: 1/10

Want me to review something next? Let me know in the comments below!

Amazon Link


The Adult Toy Review Q&A: How I write reviews

The level of sensation that any masturbator toy gives a person is going to be subjective. Why? It comes down to many different factors, some are personal preferences, but much more are the anatomical ones. We’re not all the same size and some of us are circumcised (which might make us less sensitive, and thus we require more stimulation).

Q: The masturbator I’m looking at doesn’t have a 10/10 on the Hands scale, should I still be considering it?

A: YES. In fact, I am very reluctant to give ANY product I review a perfect score or review unless I truly cannot conceive of a single way that the product could be even slightly better.

Q: If the product is adequate and “does the job” why not give it a perfect score/review?

A: This would certainly be more profitable for me, but if I did that then there would be no way for the truly exceptional products to stand out. I want my readers to be able to see how each reviewed product stacked up against its peers in a quantifiable way, and since my reviews are biased by my anatomy, I also list engineering measurements and other relevant details that are omitted from many product pages on Amazon.

I also periodically go back and revise my reviews to keep the scores consistent, and expand on my initial impressions. This site is something of a side project of mine, so it is growing as I have time to add reviews and money to buy new products to review.

I do read submitted comments so if you have a product you would like me to review, leave a comment on this or any other page with how I can get in contact with you.

ZEMALIA 2-in-1 Vaginal and Oral Sex Masturbator

Oral sex simulator might be more accurate

I can see why this one is the #1 Best seller in Amazon right now!


  • Extremely high build quality
  • Much larger (longer & wider) than other masturbators
  • Very realistic blowjob for the money
  • Very easy to clean (but they suggest using a hairdryer to dry it)
  • Discrete black plastic bag packaging around box


  • Less suction due to it being double ended
  • Lube can come out the end you aren’t using (as with all double ended masturbators)
  • It can be very noisy if you try to close one end
  • It works better if you remove it from the ABS case and use two hands

Other features:

  • Wider internal canal that will help anyone get inside
  • Realistic sized openings
  • Over 2 inches (~50mm) longer than most other masturbators
  • It has a tongue!

Get it here!

Detailed specifications:

Material: TPE
Sensation: 8 out of 10 hands
External size: 175 mm long (without end covers) x 80mm diameter at maximum
Functional internal dimensions: 175 mm deep
Vaginal opening (without stretching): 17mm x 3.4mm slot
Oral opening (without stretching): 28mm x 6.5mm
Quality: High quality
Smell – No Smell
Cleaning – Extremely easy

I think this would be ideal if it specialized on either Pussy or mouth for better suction and more texture in the middle of the product. For this reason, I’m listing the other models that are just one ended down below.

Other models I’d like to try out & review:

Double ended without the plastic case:

Zemalia Emalia

Pussy only:

Mouth only:

  • Zemalia Dora

Not all of these are currently being sold on Amazon.ca so I don’t have links for them.